More support needed for adoptees who become parents

A social work-led study into the experiences of adopted people when they become parents has identified a “pressing need” for better support.

The study, based on interviews with 20 male and 20 female adoptees, found most experienced a “reawakening of adoption-related issues” when they had children of their own.

These included fears of failing as a parent, feelings of being “rejected” and identity issues.

Becoming a parent was a “positive turning point” for some, bringing a sense of belonging and, for those who had suffered maltreatment, a determination to “break the cycle”.

However, researchers added: “For others, the intensity of adoption-related feelings triggered on becoming a parent posed serious threats to their parenting and these feelings overlapped with mental health problems.”

The report noted how a higher level of adverse life experiences, often pre-adoption, meant many within the interview group reported problems with mental health, education and employment, substance misuse and relationships.

It said: “Often these problems were ongoing when they became a mum or dad, threatening their parenting and playing into their most significant fear: that as parents they may repeat negative cycles of neglect or abuse with their own children.”

Researchers said this suggests the transition to parenthood posed “important opportunities” in supporting adopted adults that were being missed.

Almost a quarter of the parents in the study were not living with their children, including some who had lost their children to care or adoption.

Research elsewhere, such as that by Cardiff University showing an overrepresentation of care experienced parents losing children to care, suggests a failure to prepare vulnerable adoptees for parenthood, said the report.

Moreover, this may be exacerbated by professional attitudes “which see intergenerational cycles of abuse and state care as inevitable”. 

Researchers found “adoption sensitive therapy” had helped some parents in the study resolve difficulties. However, it noted: “Affordable adoption-competent therapies for adult adopted people are often sadly lacking and development of and funding for such services is a pressing need.”

The study identified three sub-groups among the parents interviewed – those in “continuous stability” were the most content and consisted of six fathers and two mothers.

Those described as “pulling through” had “lingering issues” and consisted of eight fathers and 14 mothers.

Those that were “still struggling” experienced serious episodes of mental health problems including anxiety and suicide attempts, and consisted of two mothers and four fathers.

The last group – “robbed of parenthood” – were people whose children were in care or adopted and consisted of two mothers and two fathers.

Having a biological connection with their children was particularly treasured by those in the “pulling through” sub-group and was linked to a renewed effort to resolve their issues.

However, the “still struggling” sub-group experienced “powerful feelings of distress that made the parenting role particularly challenging”. 

Some worried about their ability to get close to their children, or having “an overinvolved or permissive parenting style”.

Other insecurities around parenting were also highlighted. One mother said: “I just remember thinking the whole way through my pregnancy that I would just never be a good enough mum.”

A father said: “I felt I had to be 100 per cent doing everything… be perfect, perfect father, perfect husband”. 

The report said parents may benefit from early family support services to help them avoid “these negative parenting strategies, and developing more positive ways of parenting”.

However, it warned parents could see such interventions as “threatening, pathologising or critical”. Services, therefore, must be sensitive to adoption issues and avoid making parents feel judged.

The study, called How do adopted adults see the significance of adoption and being a parent in their life stories? A narrative analysis of 40 life story interviews with male and female adoptees, was carried out by the University of East Anglia.

Lead researcher Professor Beth Neil, from the school of social work, said: “Adoption is a life-changing event, and it is really important to understand how people are affected throughout their whole life – not just in childhood.

“This research highlights the need for more support for adopted people both in childhood and when they become parents themselves.”