“Is this sexual abuse?” NSPCC helplines report: peer sexual abuse

It’s normal for children to demonstrate a range of sexual behaviours as they grow up. But sometimes they may behave in a sexualised way that is inappropriate to their age and stage of development. We call this harmful sexual behaviour, because it’s harmful to the children who display it, as well as the people it’s directed towards. There are many reasons why children display harmful sexual behaviour, but research shows that exposure to trauma can be a key factor in its development (Hackett, 2016).
Harmful sexual behaviour can be displayed towards peers, younger children, older children or adults. It ranges from behaviour that is socially inappropriate to behaviour that is unexpected or impulsive, and behaviour with an element of victimisation or violence. This may include unwanted or inappropriate touching; forcing or coercing someone else to watch or take part in sexualised activity; and sexual violence. Around a third of child sexual abuse is committed by other children and young people (Hackett, 2014).
We hear from parents and professionals who are concerned about children displaying sexualised behaviour. In 2016/17, there were 663 contacts to our helpline about this. Many of the adults who got in touch weren’t confident about deciding whether sexualised behaviour is ‘normal’ or harmful, and they weren’t sure of the best way to respond.
Puberty can be a confusing time and peer relationships naturally change as children grow up. This can mean children also find it difficult to identify which sexual behaviours are appropriate and inappropriate. Those who display harmful sexual behaviour may not recognise that they are doing so.
Those who experience harmful sexual behaviour may realise it makes them feel unhappy or unsafe, but they aren’t always clear about how to respond. In 2016/17, our Childline service delivered 3,004 counselling sessions to children and young people who were concerned about having been sexually abused by their peers. This might be a friend; boyfriend or girlfriend; ex-partner; or another young person who was under the age of 18, and who isn’t related to them. Throughout this report we’re calling this type of abuse ‘peer sexual abuse’. Peer sexual abuse can take place in a range of locations including at school, at home, at social events and online.