Losing my religion
David was raised Baptist. After his father died, he cared for his mother, who had learning difficulties. When David came out as gay, his school friends were accepting, but his mother and church were not. A Christian counsellor told him acting on his feelings was sinful.
A teacher noticed David's worsening mental health and offered support. Leaving church took years and he struggled emotionally. At university, David identified as atheist and slowly found belonging.
Maryam stopped eating lunch at school during Ramadan. Her peers assumed she was fasting. Recently arrived in the UK seeking asylum, she no longer identified as Muslim, but concealing this felt necessary.
In Bangladesh, leaving Islam had triggered threats and rejection. She hid parts of herself to avoid harassment. Her mental health deteriorated; anxiety attacks became frequent and the trauma left her desperately needing support.
Young people and faith
Faith plays a significant role in young lives. Deepening belief is as important to some as stepping away is for others. Most seek supportive conversations, but changes in faith can lead to isolation or abuse. When beliefs and community expectations collide, harm can include coercive control, physical and emotional abuse, and shunning.
Conversion practices, like those David experienced, attempt to change sexual orientation or gender identity, often leading to mental health problems, suicidality, and homelessness.
In some high-control religious contexts, there is evidence of failure to report abuse, with victims silenced. These are child protection matters demanding a response. However, action is difficult when we lack awareness and when bias shapes practice.
What might be missed
Statutory safeguarding guidance covers faith organisations but does not mention young people leaving or changing faith. Practitioners may encounter signs of struggle without recognising them as safeguarding concerns.
Research by Arekh and Egan (2021) in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that of 154 adults reporting assault related to apostasy, only 5.8 per cent reported it to the police.
We often make assumptions based on limited knowledge, conflating religion with culture and identity. Nuances can be missed when we categorise children as simply belonging to a faith. Within each context, significant variation exists; no two situations are identical.
Professionals sometimes view faith transitions as private family matters and worry involvement may seem culturally insensitive. Safeguarding systems have historically over-intervened in minoritised families, and racism persists.
When professionals lack confidence working across cultures, harm can be missed, or insensitive practice can contribute to it. Addressing these gaps requires understanding that faith transitions exist across all levels of need.
Early recognition matters; young people unable to speak may later present in crisis.
Rights and relationships
When we focus on rights and relationships, professionals can attend to the agency young people need to flourish. Respect for faith traditions and wellbeing are not in opposition. An abusive adult is just that, and religious affiliation does not excuse abuse.
Freedom of belief is a fundamental human right. Families may disagree or seek to control, but the young person's welfare is paramount.
Young people hold different relationships to faith and freedom. One person's pathway out of a religious family may look different to another's. Racism, migration, and marginalisation are relevant contexts for creating conditions for youth safety.
Building awareness and collaborative support
For social care practitioners, this means developing awareness and working with experts. This includes collaboration with survivor-led organisations like Faith to Faithless, voluntary organisations, affirming faith leaders, and trusted youth workers.
Key questions include:
- What is this young person afraid might happen if they speak?
- Who can offer support?
- Is there evidence of control or abuse?
- When parents believe they are acting in their child's best interests, how do we support them to understand their child's right to identify differently?
- When is it appropriate to mediate?
- Are there trusted community resources accessible to the young person?
Practitioners must respond with curiosity, holding complexity before moving to escalation. Racism and social exclusion shape these dynamics. Early help practitioners and youth workers are often well-placed to offer support.
Young people are more likely to disclose worries in safe spaces and may prefer speaking to those outside their original faith. Empowering young people to make informed choices requires practitioners to act as supportive sounding boards, creating conditions for them to explore the consequences of sharing their beliefs.
Navigating family expectations and professional boundaries
Where young people have grown up believing their worth is inseparable from their faith, they may need support to explore new ways of thinking. Residual beliefs can impact mental health, and parent and community expectations are complex. Navigating rules is a part of normal adolescent development, but interpretations of faith may vary.
A parent may hold deep fears: how the community perceives them, loss of honour, or the fear that their child may go to hell. Practitioners must balance respect for family life against the young person’s agency.
It is not the place of practitioners to express religious views. It is essential to be aware of one's own thoughts; reflective supervision can support practitioners to explore unconscious biases and how personal beliefs affect practice.
Professional responsibility and safeguarding
Any attempt at mediation should focus on mutual respect without colluding with harmful behaviours. Situating the discussion in values can help all concerned understand what is negotiable.
Where abuse occurs, including systematic silencing, statutory safeguarding has a clear role. This response needs to be informed by survivors and community organisations.
Contextual safeguarding offers a useful lens, recognising that harm occurs beyond the home. It prompts practitioners to consider relational and structural dynamics in friendship groups, online spaces, and faith communities, asking what norms affect the young person.
Toward collaboration
The challenge for children's services is clear: how can systems create conditions for faith transitions to be met with care? At Resonant Collaboration, we believe the answer lies in multi-agency alignment. We are bringing together young people, researchers, and community leaders to co-create practice.
Through youth involvement work and a national conference on 21 October, we are building confidence in identifying harm and raising awareness of how marginalisation affects practice.
By fostering shared language and approaches, we hope to shift practice from crisis intervention to nurturing awareness, agency and early support.
Colin Michel is a facilitator, researcher, and consultant with over 20 years experience across children’s services. He is Founder and co-director of Resonant Collaboration, a social enterprise dedicated to improving youth safeguarding and relational practice.
Sarah Robbins has a background in children and families social work, having qualified as a social worker in 1999. She is currently chief executive of a voluntary sector organisation providing a range of services to children and families in Birmingham.